my peace

i should rewrite this journaling. it doesn't tell the story. of how i stand on the beach and immediately become another person. no, the same person, but the truer, more essential person. the person who is grounded. and for whom nothing seems overwhelming.

seeing the size of the ocean reminds me that i am small. and that nothing is that significant. in a good way. i love the perspective of realizing that things ebb and flow all around me and i am just a part of the universe, and that it is not all my responsibility. in fact, it hardly notices me at all. my role here is neither crushing nor essential.

the roar drowns out all the other noise: both that around me and that inside my head. it is the one place i can truly just be. just sit and be. no busy thoughts. no sore head. nothing at all. i don't have that anywhere else.

the colors are my essence. blues and greys of every hue. visual peace and harmony.

here, everyone is entertained by the sand and the water. nothing plugs in. nothing is digitized. laughter plays on the treble clef, accompanying the bass of the water. together they bring peace to my heart and my soul.

here i feel my father in heaven. i feel His power. and His awareness of me. this is a curious juxtaposition against the nothingness that i described above, but they truly work together. i am certain it is also intertwined with the part of not having busy thoughts. tha clarity of thought allows me to be more contemplative and more aware of my spiritual yearnings.

one day i will have this out my front door.

until then, i will visit yearly if at all possible.